If anyone ever does a biopic of M.E. Breen, or, more likely, Truckstop Breen, One Dog’s Journey from Mange to Magnificence, or, more likely still, an action flick: Two Cats, One World: Total Domination, I want Mrs. Magoo to narrate.
Watch her Movie Monday VIDEO REVIEW of Darkwood.
Wednesday I spent accumulating further evidence that I REALLY LIKE KIDS. I already knew I liked the little kind, who say things like, Hello! I love you! Do you want a cupcake? But I wasn’t so sure about those verging-on-teenager kids. It’s not that I have any terrible preconceptions about texting or Bratz dolls, except, yes, Bratz dolls terrify. I just have bad memories. I was an evil preteen. I was a hysterical giggler, behind-hair-hider, lip-gloss-shellacker, substitute teacher-devourer. I thought bad thoughts and said bad things, if usually under my breath. I was insecure and crafty. I would like to take this opportunity, if fact, to formally apologize to E.S., a smart and energetic teacher of 6-8th grades.
But I must have had some sweetness in me somewhere because I wasn’t actually a different species from these kids I met on Wednesday, and times haven’t changed so very much, and weren’t Anne of Green Gables and Laura Ingalls Wilder a little awful occasionally? Anyway, these were some great kids. Such open faces! Such excellent hairstyles! I’m not kidding — all kinds of shag cuts and asymmetrical cuts and cute bangs and twisty barrette scenarios I would have been terrified to wear. Even on the boys! My idea of radical hair was to braid it wet and sleep on it. Look –crimping!
They were smart, too. They said things like, “villains are more fun than heroes because they let you have the dream of being bad.” And even though I was asking them to do something dorky (write! talk about writing!) I was the only one in there who seemed to think it was dorky. Part of me kept wanting to apologize for being serious — doesn’t serious mean uncool?– but they didn’t expect anything of the sort. They were serious and they were cool. Adolescence is a serious business, I guess, but my sense of them wasn’t really of a group of impressive adolescents, it was of a group of impressive people. They were just. . .people. People I liked. People I wanted to hang around with and keep a notebook handy and write down things they said about good and evil and Spider-Man and Venom and foils in fiction more generally. So, thank you to Northstar Academy in Redwood City for inviting me to participate in their Festival of Words. It was a trip, and by trip I mean time travel, and by time travel I mean a new idea of the kid I might have been, and maybe was.
Saturday I had the chance to write a guest blog for Mrs. Magoo Reads.
Mrs. Magoo not only reads, she runs one smart, engaging, thoroughly impressive blog. I’m delighted I got to be a part of it.
Check out Mrs. Magoo’s review of Darkwood.
#1
Yellow dog, yellow dog,
I wonder what your mother was?
Harbor seal or armadillo?
Giant lemur? Beige gorilla?
Your ears are flower petals
But your coat is boar bristles.
You roll in the ice plant.
You roll in the thistles.
I call you Truckstop,
And sometimes Snootina.
You will never be mistaken
For a Viszla ballerina.
#2
Fat cat, you wear it well.
When you lie down it’s hard to tell,
But when you rise –Oh Christ! My eyes!
You do revert to porpoise-size.
Why does it all hang down so low?
To sweep the dust up as you go?
Does it protect, in case of battle?
Or win you love, like turkey’s wattle?
Though in your dreams you are a tiger,
When you wake up the dog’s still bigger.
#3
Pretty face, bunny eyes,
Your heart is full
Of enterprise.
Beneath the ottoman you plot
The overthrow of Brother Fat
And Sister Yawp.
